Empathy

“All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart.” Tahereh Mafi

Empathy is empowerment of and education about others in a deep connection of understanding one's experiences. It conjures up the concept of humanity's one-ness, and runs much deeper than compassion. With compassion, there is still the distinction of "you" and "me." It allows energetic and spiritual distance to remain between the compassionate one and the recipient of that compassion. Empathy, on the other hand, acts of a remover of that distance in such a way that "you" and "me" becomes "we." This is extremely important to be able to truly feel and understand with a sort of nomadic perspective.

I always remember being the person who wanted to reach out and touch others with my heart and soul. However, I was not sure how to do this, especially being an introvert. I was unable to do this for many of my younger years, but I can look back at some very trying experiences and see how I likely brought them into my life with the intention of growing my experiences in order to better understand others. For example, growing up I saw one of my close girlfriends and an adult family member in abusive relationships. I did not understand it, and I judged it harshly (especially the adult situation). I was raised by a strong mother and never saw my father raise a hand to her. I was brought up with the rhetoric of "never let a man put his hands on you." Nevertheless, I found myself in an abusive 4-year marriage with my first husband.

Although, I always fought back, my ex-husband was stronger. After one year of marriage, I knew the marriage was over and I had to end it, but it took three long years to figure out and execute an exit strategy that would not end up with me behind bars or dead. Until that experience, I was completely unable to empathize with women in abusive relationships. That experience caused me to question everything I knew about myself. It destroyed my façade, my egoic arrogance, and my previous paradigm. I look back at that experience and thankful for how it cracked open my shell and allowed my soul to come out shining with such an openness and sensitivity to others' experiences.

I'd be remiss if I did not also mention how I've learned that being extremely sensitive to others' experiences also made me easily depleted of energy. It is easy to become depressed, anxious, and even irritated when you absorb everything around you. At times, being empathetic felt like a curse. I would even pray that it would go away sometimes. Thankfully, I've learned about energetic boundaries and self-care, which are still things I struggle to put into practice every day.